Growing up alternatively spiritual (Part 6)
Even more of memories. Plus, some warming recipes for the winter days ahead.
This is a continuation of an ongoing serial about growing up with a curandera for an Abuelita. Today, I will share more about what Mom remembers growing up with her mother. Then, we’ll here from one of Mom’s cousins! I’ll end today with some of my favorite recipes to warm your wintry days.
Lately, I feel like I have been obsessed with trying to record as many of Mom’s memories about her childhood and what it was like growing up with a curandera for a mom! Hope you enjoy the bit of change this shift brings. I knew this was going to happen eventually — I only have so many memories of Abuelita before her health and cognition began to decline, which was right around the time I went off to college. In other words, it was not exactly the season in my life when I would be inclined to inquire about my Abuelos (a.k.a., grandparents) lives before they became my Abuelos. All of this probably explains my fervor now in my mid-30’s to capture every detail I possibly can about the family. I think I’m trying to make up for lost time!
Speaking of time… Want to know the funny thing about my Mom’s memories of the family, Abuelita’s curanderismo practice, and her childhood in relation to curanderismo? Every time she reads a post here on the newsletter, more and more memories crop up for her! Images, sayings, and people are springing forth faster than I can put out this newsletter — may this be my biggest “problem” with publishing café de olla.
And now that we’re all feeling blessed and highly favored, on with the post!
Even more from Mom
A few more details that came to mind for Mom:
Previously on café de olla…
“Mom was even able to visualize a rough overview of their ceremonies. In her mind she can see all of the members donning white robes, sitting in chairs arranged in a circle, and then they would start praying in unison. They would read from their special small books and sing religious music.”
Yeah, those “white robes”? Mom also remembered that Abuelita wore similar white robes when she moved to the US, too! For those monthly ceremonies that took place in the “back room” of her house, Abuelita and her group that gathered would wear white robes as well.1 But only for the start of the ceremonies. This checks out because the few times I joined at the end of a ceremony to get my limpia2, no one was wearing anything special. At this point in the ceremony, I remember Abuelita was dressed in her typical two-piece sweatsuit with her colorful delantal (a.k.a., apron) layered on top.
And the “praying in unison”? Well, there’s no other way to say this — but apparently, this praying would continue until all the of members in the circle reached a trance-like state. Likely reaching some higher spiritual level or another energetic plane. There was even 1 designated member of el templo (a.k.a., the temple) who did not partake in the prayer so that they could stand watch over the circle. Mom theorizes this member’s role was to monitor and provide assistance in the event someone in the circle had a difficult time coming out of the trace. Mom even admits that this part of the ceremony was the only real scary part for her to observe. She always felt some worry about whether or not the members, including her own mother, would be able to “come back” from their trance. Yikes. That does sound scary, Mom!
Finally, those “special small books” they would read? While Mom never found out the titles of the books nor did she ever read from them, she does remember that during the ceremonies the members called out names from the one of those books of “resos y cantos” (a.k.a., “prayers and songs”). And it was a very long list of names. Which names? The names of many spirits, mystics, and saints — which included both indigenous and Catholic entities. Maybe even some guardian spirits? The members, in unison, would call out to each entity by their name for the purpose of inviting each of them to the circle. Essentially, inviting them to join their ceremony. The list was long, so long that Mom really doesn’t remember any of the names with any kind of precision. But she does vaguely remember the name of one indigenous entity, this detail is very hazy though. I’m hoping to one day learn the titles and find copies of these spiritual books.
Now. Let’s hear from yet another Tía. Get ready for a lot of Tías, by the way. Everybody from my Abuelita’s generation (or older) had at least 8 or 9 kids back then, so you can only imagine how many uncles, aunts, and cousins I have. Let’s call her “Yogi Tía.”
From Yogi Tía
Yogi Tía is certainly one to embrace her true self and answer the call of devotion, no matter the source. So, I shouldn’t have been surprised when I told Yogi Tía about this newsletter that she would unabashedly start recounting lots of stories about Abuelita. No feelings of self-consciousness or judgement here, and I love it!
For some backstory, Yogi Tía is also 1 of 9 children. Her mother was my Abuelita’s first cousin. And, to make things just a little bit more interesting, her father was my Abuelito’s (a.k.a., grandfather) brother! In other words, two brothers married two cousins. I will be sure to dive into her childhood, her family’s roots in Texas and Oklahoma, and the dynamics between their family of 11 and my Mom’s family of 11 in future posts.
I am also hoping that one day Yogi Tía will let me interview her for this newsletter!
For now, a few memories from Yogi Tía:
(Disclaimer: permission have been granted by family members to replicate their stories for publication.)
Hand on her heart, Yogi Tía swears she never went to the doctor or a hospital growing up — instead, she always went to her aunt, i.e., my Abuelita. Whenever she was sick, they took her to Abuelita. When her parents feared she wasn’t eating enough or getting enough nutrition, off they took her to Abuelita. Even for certain injuries, her parents opted for first taking her to Abuelita.
In another effort to increase her appetite and improve her overall physical health, Yogi Tía distinctly remembers a technique Abuelita would use that involved Abuelita making a gesture in the sky as if she was attempting to “pinch the sun.” Then, she would bring down her pinched fingers to the crook of her arm, aiming for the main vein, and pressed down on the vein. Abuelita would then drag her pinched fingers up the inside of Yogi Tía’s arm. And y’all, Yogi Tía honest to goodness swears she could feel the sensation of a needle go straight up her arm whenever Abuelita would use this technique. How wild is that?!
Turns out, Abuelita was a big presence in her life. Yogi Tía’s family would spend a lot of time with my Abuelita’s family back in the day. And boy, does Yogi Tía remember those Navidad (a.k.a., Christmas) parties! In case you missed it, I wrote all about our family’s Navidad festivities here:
Thank you, Tía, for being so generous with your time and willing to share your stories with me. I really appreciated what you said in reference to me writing about Abuelita — you very poignantly stated:
“Everyone needs to hear her story. Her life and her story should be heard and shared and never be forgotten. We are so fortunate to have known her and had her in our lives.”
I couldn’t agree more with you, Tía. I couldn’t agree more.
Recipes
The winter solstice is upon us this week, no better time to make warm and comforting pans of piping hot hearty meals. Here are a few more cozy favorites that my Mom likes to make. And just so we’re all clear about this — these recipes below are not my Mom’s recipes. Below you’ll find recipes from one of my favorite food blogs, Mexico in my Kitchen. For family recipes and culinary secrets, she says you will have to negotiate a price! Ah yes, the entrepreneurial gene runs strong with this one. No surprise there!
Chicharron in red salsa - pork cracklings cooked in a spicy red sauce. Mom likes to make tacos out of them. I like to eat them as is, maybe with some tortilla chips on hand.
Calabacitas - a squash dish, sprinkled with a generous amount of cheese. A fantastic side dish.
Chorizo and eggs - breakfast! Here is another impromptu taco opportunity.
Nopales - cactus! Again, another fantastic side dish to any meal. If you have never had cactus before, it reminds me of okra. But to be perfectly honest, I would much rather prefer to have cactus over okra!
Thanks for the memories, everyone! It truly feels like this newsletter is expanding its scope to include the other members of la familia. I am so glad folks want to talk to me about what it was like for them to grow up alternatively spiritual. Since we all have that in common, among other things of course, I say we embrace it!
Join me next time for Part 7 when I will be sure to share even more memories and some findings of my most recent research. I promise I have not forgotten about that research!
And thanks so much for stopping by today! May your week be merry and bright.
With cariño,
Maribel
This is another installment in a series focused on the retelling of my childhood experiences, specifically recounting how I grew up in an alternatively spiritual family. You can read the previous Parts 1 through 5 here, or find them all under the “Growing up spiritually alternative” tab on the homepage of this newsletter.
These could have occurred twice a month, but I need to fact checked this with another family member. Stay tuned.