Warning: Haunted dolls...
Read on - if you're brave enough!
This is such a specific PSA, I know. But since the issue of haunted dolls has been particularly relevant in my life as of late, I thought it a good idea to compose another warning post for y’all!
And with spooky season upon us, this feels like a thematically important message to spread far and wide. I think this time of the year can be such a blast but it’s one thing to celebrate, it’s another thing entirely to take a piece of chaos home with you.
Before the COVID19 pandemic, I would have been entirely focused on making sure you approach estate sales, yard sales, consignment shops, and antique fairs with caution — but now? Well, the landscape for haunted doll distribution has indeed transformed since I was a kid. I certainly found it surprising to learn that selling, purchasing, and collecting haunted dolls is apparently a lucrative endeavor facilitated by the internet. It is likely that you, dear reader, have come across a YouTube video, an ad, or an Instagram page dedicated to haunted dolls.
For these reasons and so many more, I invite you to this information session today!
And if this is totally not your cup of tea, I get that. In fact, I respect it. I will not feel slighted or take it personally if you choose not to read this post!
But for those of you ready to get into the weeds — read on!
Haunted Dolls 101
Ok, so dolls. Love them or hate them, I think everyone has an opinion about dolls. My guess is that everyone knows someone who owns a doll. Whether it’s a rare collectible, a family heirloom, or a kitschy find at a flea market from that time you backpacked through eastern Europe. You might have even owned a few if, like me, you were gifted one too many as a young child. Remember that bizarro trend of collecting Cabbage Patch Kids dolls in the 80’s and 90’s? (Yep, I took you there.) But we’re not here to talk about just any dolls. Let’s dive into the deep end of the pool with the haunted variety.
I hear you — right about now you are probably wondering, “Well, how do I know if the doll I own is haunted? How the heck does anyone figure that out? What are the signs that my doll is not what they appear to be?”
Excellent questions. You are already in sleuth mode. I give you permission to fully tune into that particular frequency. You are one step closer to discovering whether you currently have an unwanted entity, trapped inside an inanimate object, living in your house.
With that investigatory mindset in place, start sorting through your memories. Recall moments when you were in the doll’s presence. Was there ever a time…
you were technically alone in the room but you didn’t feel alone?
you could feel eyes on you?
you suddenly became very nervous or anxious?
you found yourself avoiding the doll?
you found yourself unable to make eye contact with the doll?
you felt like the doll was actually listening to you when you spoke to it?
you felt like the doll wanted you to pick it up or carry it?
you found yourself wanting to make the doll “happy”?
you found yourself not wanting or unable to pick it up?
you felt a great sense of relief after leaving the doll’s presence?
your friends and family commented on the doll, and not in a kind fashion?
your friends and family refused to hold or touch the doll?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions… I hate to break it to you but I think your doll might be haunted, my friend.
Now — if after this self-assessment you are not convinced either way, well then it might be time to be direct. Yes, you must confront the doll and ask it point blank if it is alive in any capacity. Keep it simple. You can look at it in the eyes and ask it things like: “Do you have a name? Are you just a doll? How old are you?”
Just asking it questions, I believe, can really jump-start the process. In the event your doll is not who they appear to be on the outside, the entity living on the inside will surely hear you.
Make no mistake — they will hear you.
Okay, so now I imagine you are wondering: “But if I find out my doll(s) are haunted and they know that I know… what is the point in that?! Isn’t staying ignorant much better than finding out?? Why would I ask a question only to find out the creepy truth? Who would willingly do that to themselves?”
Ease up on the brakes, friend. I don’t want to scare you from carrying out this investigation, especially because this post is coming from a place of concern. But trust me, if after the self-assessment and the confrontation you end up learning that you need to get rid of that doll sitting on your bookshelf right now — you definitely want to tackle this issue ASAP. You do not want to leave things as they were.
Deep breaths. This is going to be tough to hear, but I’m here to be that friend. The one that tells you what’s really going on, the one that doesn’t lie or sugarcoat things for you! The bottom line is:
You need to know the truth.
If you do the above and sense absolutely nothing — no pit in your stomach, no chills down your forearms, no hot flashes around your neck and face, no eerie feeling like you’re being watched, etc. — congratulations! You probably just own a simple, lifeless doll. Go out and celebrate!
But.
If you find out you own a haunted doll, I cannot stress this enough: you cannot continue living with it.
Why?
Because…
it wants something from you. And it will wait around to get it. However long it takes, too.
it is feeding off of your energy. Yes, I said feeding. Not enjoying. Not basking. No. Feeding.
it is likely lying to you in order to get closer to you or to form an emotional bond with you so that you will never get rid of it.
there is a good chance, the entity inside your doll is no longer human. Perhaps it was human at some point, but not anymore. Yeah, think about that for a second. Do you really want that thing living in your home?
Give yourself the gift of having one less problem in your life — get rid of it.
It might get worse before it gets better…
For all of you who do not own a haunted doll, class dismissed. You can skip ahead to the sign-out of this post.
For the rest of you — I am now going to forewarn you. You have arrived at a juncture in this process. You’ve discovered there is an additional “living being” in your home. (Although using the terms “living” and “being” might be too generous in some of your cases.)
This discovery will likely come with consequences. In all honesty, the haunted doll will not be happy that you found out its dirty little secret.
It might even be upset or angry.
(sigh) Some might even become rageful.
The night is always darkest just before the break of dawn. These are fanciful words when the reality of the situation is a lot creepier, I know.
But let the doll’s reaction fuel your motivation to follow through and get rid of it.
Getting help
If after reading this post you are still unclear as to whether your doll is haunted or not, and whether you should get rid of it or not, then let someone help you through this discernment process.
Some dolls might have become very precious to you. Maybe you found each other at a difficult or unstable time in your life. Or perhaps the doll came to you in form of an inheritance from a beloved relative. A part of you might be hurting at the thought of saying goodbye. The thought of losing the doll might feel overwhelming to you. I am empathic toward your situation, truly I am.
Please reach out to a trusted healer, psychic, conjurer, etc., to help you. In the very least, they can provide you with more protection and safeguard you against any retaliation, or any other similar psychic attack.
Get help. It will be worth it. Trust me.
Boy, is it getting spooky around here or what?! I hope, dear reader, you found this post helpful. Let me know in the comments. Also, feel free to ask any follow up questions!
So. Are you still shuffling through your memories? Trying to figure out if you can pinpoint a moment of confirmation? Has your certainty about a particular doll in your home started to waver?
That’s your intuition knocking down your door.
A piece of advice? Let it in.
Like I mentioned before, I promise not to flood this newsletter with PSA after PSA. Because that would be boring. And a bit of a downer, no? I’ll be sure to balance out the creepy with the cute.
I’ve got some backlogged posts and interviews I need to publish. So stay tuned! And stay safe out there!
With cariño,
Maribel
This post is 6 of 24 for the Sparkle on Substack Essay Club hosted by
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Reminds me of this weird porcelain clown doll a family friend gifted me when I was a toddler. I didn't like it so my mother kept that thing on display in her room. Always creeped me out... can't confirm hauntings in this case because that was over 20 years ago but man... hated that thing
Anyone else unable to sleep now? Asking for a friend.